Dysfunction Junction 2016-03-07

DysfunctionJunctionI’m sitting here writing while the Maury Popovich show is running on the television. I don’t normally watch this show, but I just haven’t bothered to change the channel yet. Today it’s about men who are savagely abusive to their significant others and mothers of their children. Forced sex, urinating on toothbrushes, putting dirty diapers under her pillow to sleep on, shoving her face into hot macaroni and cheese if the pork chop isn’t the right kind of brown, continuously slapping them with belts, fists, wooden spoons, harsh and horrible bullying and enslavement. They are on national television spewing their hatred and bad behavior as though it is honorable. How can anyone in their right mind think any part of their conduct is about love, partnership, or parenting?  The women are so abused they cannot think past the next moment of survival and trying to keep from being harmed. How can we possibly find a way to eradicate this type of horrific behavior from manifesting itself to just one more person?

Nobody, nobody, nobody, should have to exist in an environment of such horror, disgust, and revulsion. Surely those men have jobs around other people who don’t act that way. Hopefully the families and friends of these people can see there is something very wrong. Not anyone tried to get these women help, or call the authorities, or anything?  This cannot be simply explained away by the abuser’s childhood. If they came from abuse, they are apt to repeat the cycle. Okay, but that child’s entire life wasn’t lived in that room with no other outside influences like friends, teachers, ministers, etc. They were sweet enough while wooing the woman to become their partner knowing full well if they behaved in a vile manner, the lady wouldn’t give them a second glance.  Once their target committed to a relationship with them, the abuse started. There was an obvious realization at some point that they couldn’t act that way to ‘trap’ their mate, so why do they think they can be that way after they are snared. Okay, Maury (God bless him) got those three couples some help, but there are literally thousands out there living lives of hell. It’s not just Maury, but Dr. Phil, Jerry Springer, and other shows are admirably continually highlighting dysfunction and offering help or solutions case by case.

I know that math, science, English, and history are imperative for the education of our youth; but could we have classes on sensitivity training from the first day of school through the very last day of school — kindergarten through doctorate and from the first day of work through retirement? It’s not just for a child’s ability to acknowledge any imbalances of actions in their own personal lives toward them, but to also know how to treat others with decency and respect. Psychology based curriculum that literally drums into people to be kind is crucial. The school system would say there is little money, we already ask an enormous amount from our teachers, and we do have something like that now. We don’t need something like that, we need just that. You can’t eliminate meanness, but can we do something to make it a punishable offense where the perpetrator doesn’t go to traditional jail, but to golden-rule jail? Learn to keep your hands off others, you have no right to be another person’s torturer, or abuser. I don’t have answers, I just wish there was a way to eliminate hateful, horrific, abusing assholes in the world… Sandy

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