Happily Ever After. 2016-01-23

Untitled-2Just about everything in media today is about coupling, looking for love, and ending in fairytale happily ever after. Even in big adventure movies where pandemonium is rampant, the girl gets the guy. The Black Widow can’t just save the world, she has to have a love interest while doing it. Thor awesome God of Gods doesn’t have enough to do putting the hammer down, but he found the girl. The evil bad guys are closing in, but there has to be a pause in the action for the big I-found-you kiss. What? Get to steppin’ people! You’re going to get killed! Sexual tension, hooking up and romance — sex sells. Does he like her or more importantly does he love her?  Will they end up together? Rooting for the pair to find each other and finally realize they just can’t live without the other. Awwww… Any complications in the relationship from the past are over. Love is the be all to end all. Who doesn’t love a torrid love story? I too loved it when Forest Gump rolled his eyes and embarrassedly exclaimed, “Lieutenant Daann,” in response to meeting his girl.

Relationships that work are fabulous. In the beginning when it’s in the touch-me, feel-me stage all else is blocked out for the sheer magic of the moment. Love is blind, crazy in love. Love conquers all. It’s totally obvious that blissful coupling will last forever and ever, Amen. Right Randy Travis? Many times it does survive until death do us part; but if you candidly interview anyone who has had the true grit to stick it out for years and years they will tell you that respect, trust, tenderness, and commitment are the glue holding their relationship together.

Love is fickle, lust is fleeting, but relationships that endure for decades are accomplished from a higher level of emotion and strength than love and lust. Love is powerful but it is a self-defined sentiment. What is love to one person may not be to another. In my opinion it’s lasting and permanent. It has evolved from weak knees to caring, shared memories and experiences, the ability to be yourself at all times, ultimate friendship, humor, and still wanting that person in your every-day life. Waking up in the morning and looking forward to having breakfast on the patio or watching a movie on Netflix together. Being absolutely content in each other’s company not needing to be around other people to have something interesting to talk about. That’s a love that endures.

We have all experienced heartbreak in a relationship. Sometimes we can work it out, and sometimes we cannot. Parting ways is such sweet sorrow. Moving on hurts, but there’s always promise of the next big relationship in the horizon; and that one will last forever, I’m pretty sure.

My hope is for all of us to instill independence and self-reliance into our children so they can conduct their lives and take care of themselves as individuals without that magical relationship. Once that’s achieved, and only then, does any relationship really have any chance. Whoopie Goldberg’s book title , If Someone Says They Complete You –RUN!, says it better than anything.   If a relationship never materializes for you, then that is completely fine. You can handle it because you’re prepared to take care of yourself. Being alone and being lonely are two very different things.

Never underestimate the power or love, marriage, parenthood, and extended family; however, it just may not be for you. It is certainly not for everyone.  Relationships enhance your life in some ways, but it is not what your life is ultimately about. Be yourself, emit positivity, be self-supporting, and love may just may find its way to you.

Be Sasha Fierce, y’all and hug it out!… Sandy

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