God bless the dreamers. Follow your dreams. Be all that you can be. Set goals and go after them. You can be anything and accomplish whatever you truly want. But what do you want?
Well, 64 years and counting, and I don’t have a clue. If I had a dream, I suppose I would have gone after it. What did I want to be? I really have no idea. I’m still waiting for that lightning bolt moment I suppose.
As a young girl the question was: Do you want a family? I don’t know, never gave it much thought. Not really a goal of mine. Yet, today I have a family. What would have happened had I not had one? I suppose I would be thankful for whatever happened family or not. Having a family however puts in front of you a kind of love you never knew even existed. Layers upon layers of richness, challenges, headache, heartache, blessings, and enrichment never conceived possible becomes a battle in the trenches you never knew you could survive, but you did. And you and your loved ones are mostly better for them.
I am still trying to answer my first grade teacher’s question. What do you want to be when you grow up? At the age of four it was Annie Oakley. That seemed like fun until while dancing on my wooden toy-chest wearing cowgirl boots like hers, I fell and broke my nose. Well, that’s out. In the first grade it was a ballerina. That was when I was still a tiny girl with a dream, but that dream was soon dismissed the older and chubbier I became. Second grade, I would have liked to be a champion hula hooper. That’s a lot of work so no. After that; however, I had no direction other than to study hard and do well in school.
After having started working in an office right out of high school at the age of 17 and having held only four long-term jobs over the next 45 years, I am still searching for that thing I would like to be when I grow up. I liked the jobs, bosses, and co-workers I had all those years, but somehow I became locked into the concrete-jungle, data-factory life-style. I suppose there were things I would have rather done, but my imagination did not go past my only goal of having a job, earning a living, raising a family, retiring and staying home. Now that’s an end to a means I can rally behind!
I’m interested in many many things. I love the family my husband and I have raised, of course, and have marveled in the people my children and grandchildren have evolved into. Aside from that, I like to think that although I’m not an expert at pretty much anything, I can engage in conversation with just about anyone on any topic. Just don’t ask me to explain the monetary system because I’m not a big fan of the fact that human decency and status is entirely controlled by the haves-and-have-nots system controlling all of us.
I am someone who does not like small talk. I’m just not good at it at all. Once I’ve commented on the weather of the day, there’s really not much else for me to say. That’s the point where awkwardness sets in. I follow politics and try to keep up on current events. I enjoy writing this blog, petting my cats, and watching the squirrels outside my office window munching on the peanuts set out for them. By the way, boy are they busy today! Our backyard garden although seasonal is gorgeous with all the flowers, roses, trees, bushes, grasses, and plants giving me joy and peace on a very basic level. It’s also a source for continual digging, picking, deadheading, raking, weeding, and maintenance. But the result is worth the effort. I am heavily involved in ancestry and researching our family tree where the past reaches out and reminds me of all the wonderful stories of those who came before us. I am versed on computers and software and can program a detailed database, lay out a mean spreadsheet, form a great letterhead, or do awesome things with a photo, or prepare a presentation that will knock your socks off. I love to paint, and draw, and doodle. I have always loved being creative. Sketching Slash on a balcony, painting a windmill with Dutch girls by the water, woodburning a logo onto a log as garden decor, even small things such as painting rocks to look like ladybugs, , etc, I enjoy. I have my favorite binge shows to watch on Netflix and adore going to the movie theater and digging into a bag of popcorn while sipping on the giant bucket o’ pop they provide. Heading to a good restaurant is a favorite as well as fixing new and different recipes to cook and eat. I can converse on insurance products and underwriting and experiences from my work life as well. I am curious about things, and that is what keeps me going.
Why something is the way it is or someone is the way they are or behaves they way they do is continually fascinating to me. That is the reason I adopted ‘BE CURIOUS’ as the tagline for this blog. I love and like many many things, but I have never focused on one thing as a forever goal.
Those forming their goals and intentions at an early age are often the most successful in the end. They knew what they wanted and went after it. Somewhere along the way, they developed a sense of self and what they wanted to accomplish in their life. I however, am still looking for that thing. That tangible or intangible favorite. I believe it’s probably not going to happen for me because I adore it all.
God bless those of you who know what you want and go after it. Living with salubrious purpose is a great gift… Sandy