Is it me or do the prom dresses nowadays look like costumes for Dancing With the Stars? I mean, c’mon, people! It’s not just a matter of taste, it’s a matter of age-appropriateness and, yah, taste. Tight, short, strapless, slit up to here, cut down to there, sequined WWE wrestler gowns.
Whatever happened to good ole high school kid fun? Why are we sending our young ladies to a dance with their guy of the moment looking like they’re auditioning for Skin Wars?
To be fair, there are those who look fresh-faced and stunning without having squeezed into a minx-inspired costume. The dress flows, and it fits them gracefully. I’m not broad-stroking the entire high school upper class.
But Girlfriend, when you think of your prom night do you really want to spend it pulling your skirt down, hiking the top up, smoothing the tight frock from puckering around your middle, being uncomfortable standing, sitting, walking, or dancing? I mean, don’t eat (just pretend to move your food around on the plate); don’t laugh too much (it’s not appealing and your makeup may crack); be careful when you turn around (you don’t want to trip or split your dress); stand really straight (so everything stays where it’s supposed to); pull out that tight I-don’t-want-to-mess-up-my-lipstick smile; your hair, keep touching your hair (it has to look great after all). Why are you restricting your fun night with trying to live-up to a perception of perfection that is skewed toward a spread in Vogue with a ridiculously inappropriate dress that if not the very next day surely in 5, 10, 15, or 20 years will represent a flashback from hell.
Sure, it’s normal to look back on prom pictures and make fun of the fashions, the colors, the ridic hairdos, garish make-up or whatever; but do you really want to add Paris-runway temptress into the mix along with all the other things that can sour a happy night, like other girls flirting with your date, your date trying to pick up other girls, someone spiking the punch bowl and you throwing up all over the car, being pressured into having sex when you understandably don’t feel ready, or the tons of other things that can derail the whole prom experience?
The pre-prom is all about the primping for ‘the date of a lifetime’, cute pictures by the lake, posing with a group of friends, being goofy with your kid sister, proud parents by your side, the formal pinning of the flowers on your date — all sweet innocent traditions of the big night. Oh wait, don’t forget to add the whole thing about Sally’s slit up the side of her dress, the strapless dip we all are familiar with, the uncomfortable strappy shoes, enough sewn-in shiny stuff glaring back at us in the light to require sunglasses.
So, what are the guys wearing? The knights in shining armor for the evening? Off the top of my head I would surmise it would be shining armor or some other over-the-top look. Maybe a Carrot Top red curly wig, or a crystal tie? Why no, they’re wearing a tux that is a jacket, shirt, tie, trousers, and a pair of shoes that have both the heels and the toes with a 1/2″ heel.
Ummmm… What the heck, people! What is wrong with this society that we have to dress up our young girls as though they are in an episode of TLC’s My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, and the boys could easily be walk-ons in a James Bond movie filmed in a Monte Carlo casino.
Traditions are ever-changing and fashion is cyclical. I’m waiting anxiously for the chain to fly off this cycle, for sure. Kids, please be kids while you still can! …Sandy