Happy Pig-Out, Watch Commercials, and Rock Out at Halftime Day! I also hear there’s also a football game. I guess it happens every single year. The Super Bowl usually isn’t that super it’s usually a mediocre game played by two teams we don’t normally follow. Could somebody over there bring me some wings and a couple of those meatballs? Oh, and some Scoops? Thanks. I really like that Steven Tyler Skittles commercial. He can still bring it, but I kinda hate that mustache. See, I can get into the festivities along with everyone else. Not knowing the players or pulling for either of the teams kind of takes the excitement out of the game for me. C’mon! How much longer is thing going to go on anyway? Quit stopping the clock. Alright, I made it into the 3rd quarter before I have lost all hope of having any interest in this game. I did like the half-time show though. Good, grief, we’ve seen that same commercial about 4 times. Only 2? Well, it seems like 4.
Don’t get me wrong, I love football especially our need-much-improvement Chicago Bears. I’m with our team in the navy and orange. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. If you really think about it, it’s the uniform we’re actually pulling for. The players change, the coaches change, the management changes, whether they’re a good team or they simply stink does not matter. That is not the point. I’m pulling for the guys with the bear on the helmet. You can secretly pull for another team that isn’t ‘your‘ team, but the label that comes with that is you’re a ‘fair weather’ fan. After all, being a loyal fan is honorable. There goes a real fan. Don’t pull for the guys in the blue or green because you’ve committed yourself to the guys in navy and orange. Those are my guys. After-all that’s what my hoodie says, so it’s obviously true. If my favorite player choses to negotiate more millions with another uniform, then the heck with that money-grubbing turn-coat. How could he ever have done that to us? I can never pull for him now that he’s switched from navy and orange to red and white. Never! Booooooo is what he’ll get an earful of when he dares show his red uniform around here. That’ll show him. He’ll know exactly how we feel! He’s not our guy anymore. Fabulous, now I can’t even wear the jersey I have anymore with his name emblazoned across the back. That was a big waste of money. Yesterday I loved it, today I have to put it in the back of the closet, give it to someone, or throw it away. I could just cut it up for rags I suppose. You’d think it said Madoff or something. Facebook and Twitter are going to hear what I have to say about that loser that I so adored yesterday. Then it happens, the first picture of him wearing red and white sends us into a period of mourning for the person we once put our fan energy and sports merchandising money into. It’s like we’re going through a bad break-up.
I have this to say about that. The person we care so much about has no idea we exist. It has no bearing on any part of our lives except at one time we liked the uniform he was wearing and how he played while wearing it. We’ll still have to deal with our house payments, kids soccer games, picking up dinner on the way home from work, and trying to figure out where the money for a new central air unit will come from. The person in the red and white uniform will go on without a thought about how we personally feel about his life choices, and do it with a gazillion dollars in the bank I might add. And we all know we’re still going to be pulling for our same old team no matter what.
Let’s enjoy the big game today, folks. Keep this to yourselves, but I’m secretly pulling for the quarterback in the white jersey. I love that guy! Just for today, I promise… Sandy