“Who the heck is that? Can you tell me what’s going on? Oh that’s the same guy that was hitting on JLo in that other scene?” It is not uncommon to hear these and other similar questions spilling out of my mouth during any show.
I have a real problem. Okay, stop. No, it’s not that. It’s that I cannot identify faces.
Sure I know some faces. I usually know my family and friends although not always like if they’re not where I expect to see them or they’re wearing a baseball uniform with a cap and playing outfield. That may take me a minute. But the real issue is following a dad-blamed movie or television show. Scene 1: A guy is talking to another guy at a coffee shop. Scene 2: A guy is talking to a girl at the office. Okay,was that a guy from the 1st scene. If it was, which one was he? Scene 3: A girl is an undercover police officer infiltrating a street gang. Um… Is that a new character or is that the girl from the office? By now I am lost, and my husband has had to hold my hand through the story. I’m trying to stick to it, but another character is introduced, and I am now just doing my crossword puzzle listening half-assed to the story. It may take me weeks and weeks of watching to actually learn the characters and how they fit into the story.
Binge watching on Netflix has helped me a bunch. I can actually nearly get through a whole episode of Homeland now without having to ask too many questions although I still don’t know the boyfriend very well. If he’s at home with Carrie I know who he is, but if he’s at work, I think he’s a new guy. “No, he’s not new, it’s Carrie’s boyfriend,” Jim reminds me. “Ok.” They’re split up now do I don’t think I have to worry about him anymore anyway.
I’m actually much more likely to identify people by their voices and mannerisms than by their faces. There have been many times when I’ve walked right by someone at the mall that I should have greeted with a friendly hello and wave, but just walked right on by. In their mind, it’s because I must assuredly be stuck up. In truth, I actually didn’t know who you were because you weren’t at the coffee machine at work or the kid’s basketball game at school where I would normally run into you.
It’s movie day… Let’s go see the Avengers with Thor and Ironman because I know who those guys are in each and every scene. It’s much more fun for me if the characters are dressed up in unforgettable and distinct costumes. They’re blowing stuff up and that cute blonde guy with the big hammer helped save the day. His evil brother with the ridiculous black headgear and scepter really got was coming to him. There’s Ironman flying in to rescue Black Widow. Fabulous time. Let’s go get some lunch… Sandy